DEFINING MOMENTS

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I was reading a novel recently where one of the characters was talking about defining moments in their life.  What are yours?

I had a few…

  • Junior High: Music class was my favorite time of day! We were singing and my teacher, Mr. Bartholomew, stopped us in the middle of the song, got his grade book out and said,” I just HAVE to give you an ‘A’–and was looking straight at ME. He said I put so much spirit and effort and joy into singing. I knew I was loud and not that good~ but from that moment on, he gave me a free pass to sing my heart out for the rest of my life.
  • High School: Our class went on a trip to Six Flags Over Texas. Me and a classmate, Thomas, somehow got split up from the rest of the crowd for just a few moments. In those few moments, as the sun shone on his beautiful face, gentle eyes and beautiful smile, my heart whispered to me, ” You’re going to end up with him.” It was totally random–we were just friends and I we never even dated. We are now married, 40 years later.
  • High School- I was on the drill team and absolutely loved it. A Spanish teacher, Mrs. Hoy, made a comment that I was getting too fat for drill team. I took it so personally and it hurt so much that I quit that high school and went to another one the next year. I believed her off remark and I should have let it slide. It was one of my biggest regrets, not going out for drill team the following year.
  • Adulthood: When my 1st husband was dying after having a massive stroke,  I had to make a lot of tough decisions by myself. I got to a point where my grief and shock were so great that several people were worried I would harm myself. My Uncle Rodney even went as far as taking me to a Mental Hospital and tried to get me admitted. He could not do it on his own ~ they told us I would have to admit myself. My uncle begged me to do it because he didn’t know how else to deal with me. I could have taken the “out” and let everyone else take care of my sick husband until he died. But I made the decision right then and there to take it all on myself and not hide from it. I truly believe if I had to name a moment where I became an ADULT, it was right then. I don’t regret it at all. It has helped me through so many trials since then, and I am sure I’ll need it again.
  • Adulthood: After my 1st husband died, I got in touch with Thomas Bryner. We were friends in high school and had dated briefly in our 20s. I knew I wanted his gentle soul in my life somehow. I really thought he would be married and have about 7 children. He was single and no children. When I called him on the phone and he realized it was me, he hung up. I don’t blame him at all. My defining moment? I didn’t give up. We ended up just emailing for about a month, and decided to reunite on a bridge at a local park on June 15, 2009. He smiled, took my hand and gave me the best , biggest bear hug ever. We got married in 2012. It’s been almost 11 years since we met on that bridge and I have been blessed with those hugs ever since.

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Abbie's Tree House

“I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things… I play with leaves. I skip down the street and run against the wind.”  ~Leo Buscaglia

Most Leo Buscaglia quotes have an ellipsis in the middle.  His conversations tended to wander.  😀

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Baseball

Abbie's Tree House

Asdrúbal Cabrera was cut by the Texas Rangers at mid-season– they didn’t even try to trade him, just unsentimentally kicked him  out the door– but he ended the season as the starting second baseman for the World Champion Washington Nationals.

What must have at the time seemed like a crushing blow to his career could not have ended up better.

It’s also worth noting that the Texas Rangers were right at .500 at the All Star Break, and punted on the season to begin building for next year.  The Washington Nationals were twelve games under .500 at at the same point, but never gave up.

The moral here is about as subtle as a pie to the face, isn’t it?

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NO RESERVATIONS

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So! I am a stone’s throw from having to start dialysis for my failing kidneys. I have been on a thin tightrope for several years~awaiting  the inevitable.

Last  week my dear husband, Thomas and I had our first visit at a Home Dialysis Center. It was the first time we sat down with them and truly were educated on what we can expect. My husband is and has always been more of a realist than I am.

When they started to explain what it entailed, he was several steps ahead of me. He spoke the truth when he said , ” I’ve been preparing for this for years; she is in denial.” He is right. He wasn’t saying it to be mean. One of us has to be the grown up.  (Thank goodness!!)

I love life. I love to dance, go to concerts, exercise, swim, be free to move and do as I please. I have been blessed with 56 years of near perfect health, especially mobility-wise. I (knock on wood) haven’t ever broken a bone or been really incapacitated. With dialysis, I feel my life will be truly split into the world of “before” it and “after”it.

My favorite concert band is The Mavericks. We have been blessed to see them in concert four times. We have tickets to concert # 5 in Austin in April of 2020. I so want to be there and envision joy and rollicking and all that comes with a Mavericks night!

My husband reminded  me that we may not be able to spend TWO nights in Austin if I’m on dialysis; you’re not supposed to skip more than one day at a time. Of course, we could find a dialysis center in Austin, if I had to. We went ahead and made a two night reservation.

Everything in life can entail risk. Whether it’s a new romance, a new job,  a trip to a new destination. Any time in my life that I just held back and didn’t even TRY something? Those are the moments that I always regretted.

Being with someone as wonderful and BRAVE as my husband has completely turned my perspective into having a life full of stepping back, waiting and regretting~ to having no reservations. Just live.

Here is my darling, sweet, brave Tom with sweet little Lori.

 

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#METOO

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I am really proud of the “ME TOO ” movement.  I have no doubt that it takes an extreme amount of courage for so many women to finally speak up .

I have read stories, watched interviews and followed the Bill Cosby trial. I was amazed he was actually given  prison time.

There was an excellent article this weekend in The New York Times, which I have linked below. You can really feel her pain and appreciate the courage it took to finally tell her story.

You can read the article, ‘Harvey Weinstein Told Me He Liked Chinese Girls’ Why it took me more than 20 years to tell my #MeToo story, HERE.

DOWN ON THE CORNER

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I have always loved my parent’s music.  Even when I listen to it now, it’s like being a girl again in my childhood home. We had a wonderful console stereo that we got from saving Green Stamps. It was in the living room. Dad would put on a record and play it loud enough to entertain the entire house.

When we had company over, my parents would scoot the furniture against the walls so there would be plenty of dance space. They always seemed to get people to dance who probably never would dare out in public. I just was in awe of the freedom and joy of dancing.

I was very lucky and blessed in so many ways growing up. The one thing that was always allowed in our house was music.  The four of us kids definitely pushed our parents’ patience each time we turned the volume up to near maximum.

One of the very first albums Dad played was by Creedence Clearwater Revival. That album came out in the late 60s. He had several by CCR. I was the lucky recipient of them when the albums were split up. There was also great albums by Fats Domino, Tom Jones, Jack Jones, all the smooth crooners.

I am in my 50s now. I still love the oldies. I have gone back and forth over the last few years wanting to see CCR live. Problem is, I just couldn’t decide: do I want to see Creedence Clearwater Revisited (the group of guys from the original band) or John Fogerty, the original lead singer? I just couldn’t get past the idea of not hearing HIS voice in those songs. He is 74 now. I finally found the “perfect place, perfect time”…in December in Bossier City, Louisiana.  I pulled the trigger and got the tickets and a hotel ON THE wonderful Boardwalk. I get to have my darling husband, Thomas by my side swaying and rockin’ to songs that have stuck in my heart my entire life.ccralbum