Always Something Greener — Abbie’s Tree House

The lyrics are selfish and misogynistic, but I do enjoy a good flute solo: Full lyrics HERE.

Always Something Greener — Abbie’s Tree House

Feb. 17, 2020-Jan. 25, 2021

Tags

dialyisis, kidney transplant, love

Oh, what a difference a year can make. Or a day. Or a moment.

I saved a fortune cookie and taped the fortune on a light by my computer monitor. It says, ” Do not put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.”

On Feb. 17, 2020 my life, and my husband’s took a drastic turn. It wasn’t unexpected. But what was unexpected was the depth in which our lives changed. We started dialysis training because of my failed kidneys. The carefree life we had would suddenly become sucked dry.

I have to hand it to my husband, Thomas. He did everything he could think of to make our home dialysis life uplifting. He was my dj, playing all genres of music, complete with special facts and awesome introductions.

He had me laughing and distracted. He tried everything to lift my spirits. Sometimes, we would just cry together.

I still hold a full-time job. The hardest sessions were after work. Straight home. To the “electric chair.” We’d both be dead tired after it was over. Fatigue, hunger, screwed up sleep. And no real hope in sight that it would ever end.

We were both feeling like robots. It wasn’t just the 3 hours on the machine, it was the preparation, the THINKING ABOUT IT NIGHT AND DAY AND EVEN IN OUR DREAMS. No matter what we tried, it was like a plague- always with us.

The absolute hardest part for me was watching my husband become exhausted, sad, hopeless. I prayed so , so hard for a miracle to happen. We were told the average wait time for a kidney transplant could be 3-5 years.

I kept telling myself that there were so many people a LOT worse off than me. Lots of hopelessness, people a lot younger than me.

I missed my Tom. I missed seeing him laugh, dance, be able to be unencumbered by dialysis. I did it for him. I could not give up.

We got our miracle. A perfect stranger called me out of the blue, after seeing a Facebook post of one of my friends, mentioning that I needed a kidney. My friend has a zillion Facebook friends, and Tim was the only one who responded, at all.

Tim told me God led him to me. I totally believe this was God’s doing. The transplant was a success in Dallas on Jan. 25, 2021. Each and every day is a gift and I am doing every possible thing to be the vessel that God chose me to be.

The picture is of my donor, Tim , me in the middle, and my darling husband, Tom on the right.

I was busy

me,too!

Abbie's Tree House

“I lied and said I was busy. I was busy, but not in a way most people understand. I was busy taking deep breaths. I was busy silencing irrational thoughts. I was busy calming a racing heart. I was busy telling myself I am okay. Sometimes this is my busy, and I will not apologize for it.” ~Brittin Oakman

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Remember

Abbie's Tree House

“If today gets difficult, remember the smell of coffee, the way sunlight bounces off a window, the sound of your favorite person’s laugh, the feeling when a song you love comes on, the color of the sky at dusk, and that we are here to take care of each other.” ~Nanea Hoffman

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No Place to Go

Abbie's Tree House

“Grief is just love with no place to go.” ~ Jamie Anderson

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Presume

Abbie's Tree House

And that made me think of this:

Full lyrics HERE.

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Going for a walk with my Husband

Tags

Kidney dialysis, walks

This past weekend my husband, Thomas and I went for a nice afternoon stroll in our neighborhood.

Any time with my husband has always been precious to me, but even moreso now. We have been doing home dialysis as a team for several months now, and our time is more limited, but precious all the same.

As the sun warmed us , we held hands and went exploring. There is some street work going on in our neighborhood, so some areas are blocked off to through traffic. It makes it kind of fun to walk around and see what is being done.

There were two deep holes in one street where they are replacing old storm drains. It’s really amazing to be able to see underneath our street. I had no idea it was so deep!

I wanted to get right in those holes, but (so far) my husband has stopped me…

Fall is amazing. I have learned to love all seasons. Without one, we couldn’t enjoy the others.

they can be babies forever

Tags

cats

My husband, Thomas and I have had cats together for the entire duration of our relationship since before we were even married. We both love them very much~~ all animals are welcome!

Our latest furry additions are a couple of years old now…Links and Lori. They were brought into our family on the same day, in the same little carrier, and have bonded from Day 1. It is such a delight to see them frolic and snuggle and just be happy.

Cats have always been such a loving comfort to me. But they really are especially a joy to have in our world right now with so many conflicts and scares and stresses.

• 

TRINI LOPEZ

Tags

TRINI LOPEZ COVID MUSIC

I DID NOT WANT TO WRITE THIS POST…BUT… I NEEDED TO.

 

My parents had a very eclectic music collection while I was growing up.  Anything from Jack Jones, Little Richard to Kenny Rogers.

Both of my parents are gone now, and I have acquired several of their classic  records and treasure them deeply.

One of those artists is Trini Lopez. H e had such an amazing, deep, glorious voice.  My favorite album of his is THE SINGALONG WORLD OF TRINI LOPEZ, which includes one of my favorite songs, YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE.

It was that particular album, in my childhood, that I would just lie on my bed with its cover resting on my chest, eyes closed, and just breathe and disappear into relaxation.

i am now 57 and I still seek out THAT PEACEFULNESS while listening to music. It still is my go-to for letting go of stress.

my darling husband,Thomas, did an amazing thing for my 50th birthday. he wrote Trini Lopez and asked him for an autographed picture for me.   I t was one of the most thoughtful, sweetest gifts I have EVER received!!

Trini Lopez died of COVID recently.  It was not big news in the U.S., but it was big news to me.

lop L

Murals of Greyscale

This is truly inspirational!!

Abbie's Tree House

A Good Day
by Kait Rokowski (website)

Yesterday, I spent 60 dollars on groceries,
took the bus home,
carried both bags with two good arms back to my studio apartment
and cooked myself dinner.
You and I may have different definitions of a good day.
This week, I paid my rent and my credit card bill,
worked 60 hours between my two jobs,
only saw the sun on my cigarette breaks
and slept like a rock.
Flossed in the morning,
locked my door,
and remembered to buy eggs.
My mother is proud of me.
It is not the kind of pride she brags about at the golf course.
She doesn’t combat topics like, ”My daughter got into Yale”
with, ”Oh yeah, my daughter remembered to buy eggs”
But she is proud.
See, she remembers what came before this.
The weeks where I forgot how to use my muscles,

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